Quick--Top 3

If you could choose 3 Peace Corps countries to be placed into, where?

Sara answered in .5 seconds: 

• Romania
• Moldova
• Ukraine
  

I think I would choose: 

• Armenia
• Romania
• Mongolia *tough decision b/w Cameroon & Mongolia*

(I'd also really like Jordan, Bulgaria, Azerbaijan, Cameroon, Philippines, Samoa, Benin, Malawi, Burkina Faso, Macedonia, Albania, Peru)

Future PC Thoughts

(1) I hope they let me reactivate my application, so I don't have to completely reapply. I won't be able to leave until February 2010 or later, but must reactivate my application by August 8th, 2009. To be safe, I should contact them in June or July. My fear is that they will say "February is too far off for you to reactivate now, so you need to reapply." But at the same time, if they said that, I wouldn't understand, because in order to get a Q2 or Q3 (Jan-June) nomination (pref Feb-April), I'd have to actually APPLY earlier than I would if I reactivated. So see how it doesn't make sense? I could reactivate at the end of July, but if I had to completely apply again, I'd have to start applying around April or May. See the problem? My recruiter didn't really give me much of an answer, she seemed to think I'd have to reapply. I suppose when it gets closer I'll contact someone again.

(2) I think I've really decided that I want to be placed somewhere in Africa (francophone or not, tho francophone would be cool)...or Eastern Europe or Central Asia (especially the Caucus region or Central Asia, but I'd love EE all the way since I think a lot of great countries are there and was excessively excited when I almost got invited to Ukraine or Macedonia). I really want to do TEFL, and clearly EECA has a lot of TEFL. Also, being in Africa just interests me a lot. I'd also really like Jordan, they have an education program. I have to figure out my reasons. I can't say "just because." And I'm sure I have my reasons, but its one of those things that I just need to sorta "dig up" so to speak. I want to be able to give them good, strong reasons! For me, its important!

Peace Corps Budget

Budget-crunched Peace Corps cuts Volunteer Positions

This article really lays out the problems the Peace Corps is having right now. I was actually contacted by this reporter as well, but I didn't feel like I was a good source for her so I passed. I do recognize a lot of names in the article though! Its really awful because a lot of problems the PC is having could be solved by a bigger budget. Granted, its not always as easy as that, but given a bigger budget, the Peace Corps would not have to cut employees, close regional offices, and decrease the amount of volunteers. Its just frustrating to know that Congress, and especially the Senate, doesn't take the Peace Corps very seriously.

E-mailed My Recruiter

Having been thinking about my [hopefully] eventual joining of the Peace Corps, I thought it was time to e-mail someone. I might as well start gathering information about how I might go about reactivating the application, and if based on my timeline, I'll be able to reactivate it or if I will have to reapply and do everything over (ugh). I wrote:

Dear Hazel,

Hi, back in the February/March/April time you were acting as my recruiter and interviewed and nominated me. I recently declined my invitation to El Salvador for several reasons. One reason was that I felt I needed more time to prepare myself for that amount of time abroad. Another reason, a very big reason was that even though I am qualified, I feel I need to have some more "practical" experience on my side before I should move to a site where the community is counting on me. I feel that I could do the work had I accepted, but that if I get more real-life experience first, I will be able to give much more to a community.

That said, in October I will begin volunteering at The Literacy Center in my community, and possibly the Boys & Girls Club (also volunteering as a tutor). In January, I will be moving to Shanghai for a year to teach English. I feel this will help me gain a lot of practical experience on multiple levels.

I think my application is "deactivated"--if that is the right term. I was hoping to reactivate my application summer of '09, but due to TEFL in China, I wouldn't be able to leave until early 2010. I was wondering if that would be too early to reactivate it. If so, I am more than willing to go through the application process again. I realize that getting a nomination and invitation will be substantially harder now that I've declined an invitation, but I am willing to work hard for it. I am 100% dedicated to becoming a Peace Corps Volunteer, but I feel that right now I just need that extra push in experience to be able to best serve, and that by 2010 I will have hopefully gained it.

Thanks for all your time. I cannot express how much I appreciate everything you did back then and now this.

Sincerely,

Jenna Walker

She e-mailed me back this morning. She always did answer e-mails quickly. So this was her reply:

Hello Jenna,

Sorry you could not accept the first assignment. As long as you can be reached by email and phone, you can go ahead and seek a reactivation of your application in summer of 2009. However, if my counting is correct, you will have to start over and submit a new application because, by then, the application we have on file would have been withdrawn for over a year. Good luck to you.

Hazel
Regional Recruiter
Diversity and 50+ Liaison
PCV-Lesotho, Southern Africa 2003-2005

I'm glad her e-mail was helpful and nonjudgmental. Not to say that I expected her or anyone else to be (tho a handful of people have been)...its just that, its not really the best topic--declining and invite. She's always been great--always responds promptly, very nice, very helpful. Good recruiter in my opinion!

Okay, so I see what she's saying, 100%. I think in July, I will call and see if I can reactivate my application for an early 2010 departure, or if it is too early. If its 100 early, I'll just reapply--that should still give me enough time for a February-June departure date I think?

I really do want to specify a region this time...I think that would be better for me. I'm thinking EE/CA, Africa, and Asia. That may change in time, I should also look at where my skills best fit, and decide exactly why I'd like each region and how I'd do better in one over another. Stuff like that. Really know before I go into this again. I think that may be how I tripped up a lot last time. Besides experience, I didn't think about where I could best personally flourish or do my best with the community. Things to think about people, things to think about!

My Response to Amelie

Today I was left a comment by a girl named Amelie. She left a comment on my last post, about my not accepting the invitation to El Salvador. I looked at her profile, and there's not really much there...no link to a blog at all...and the only think that caught my eye is her quote that says "Life is calling. How far will you go?" Clearly the PC quote. Apparently, she doesn't like me or my decision much, this is what she commented:

I could've easily blocked the comment so it didn't go through, but that would be faking it. It would be me trying to pretend that everyone thinks declining an invitation is a-ok. Obviously, everyone doesn't think so, and I don't want to hide that. If she and others feel that way, then so be it, that's perfectly fine. They can think whatever they want, but it was my decision and I am satisfied that I made the right decision for me right now.

Other people have supported my decision. I received several e-mails of people supporting it. 

I just wanted to write to let you know that I think that what you did was really brave. I'm incredibly impressed that you had the courage and the foresight to know what will make you a more successful volunteer. I think that with all of PC's talk about "being flexible and serving where there's a need", that it can sometimes be incredibly hard to remember that you're the only one who can really know yourself and what things will and won't work

or

First, don't ever feel bad about what you decide to do with the peace corps. If you want to decline and invitation that is your choice, and no one has the right to judge you for that. Its not taboo, you have the right to terminate your PC service at anytime and no one elses' opinion matters.

Because my decision was so hard, and it tears me up, I really appreciated those e-mails. They really helped me "accept" my decision so to speak.

However, that's not to say that I wouldn't like to address a few points about what Amelie said. I feel that if someone addresses me in the tone and manner that she did, then its only fair.

(1) My love of cultures and travel and adventure, people, language, religions, and foods.....that is a love of mine that has been around since the day I was born and will stay with me til the day I die. I will never be satisfied sitting still and not learning about people.

(2) I do have an extremely strong desire to join the Peace Corps. Its not a desire to just have the dream, it is the desire to do it, be there, get in the middle of it, live how someone else does, get dirty, work hard, and be entirely uncomfortable sometimes. I won't lie; the people working for the Peace Corps that processed all my stuff, from my recruiter to my PO, were fantastic and amazing people. They worked hard for me and helped me so much. However, I did not make them jump through hoops and I don't really think they jumped through hoops. Again, that's not to say they didn't work so very hard for me, because they did and words cannot describe how appreciative I am of every last person who I worked with. However, I say that its not hoops simply because its their job and they treated me and worked with me exactly in the same way they would any other PC applicant. Having to get a second nomination was not something I made them jump through hoops for, there was a computer glitch so my recruiter called to tell me that she had to find a different nomination. When my program was full, my PO looked for other programs--something any PO would do for anyone who's program was full. She ran them by medical because I had a restriction--again, something any PO does for anyone with a restriction. I appreciate it more than anything, and they did a DAMN good job--but it wasn't hoops. Plain and simple, it wasn't them jumping through hoops because its their job and it is what is done for every applicant, not just me.

(3) As for this girl not wanting me to join the PC...well, sorry, because I fully intend on joining. It may be in the next year or two, it may be in 10-15 years, or it may be in 40 years. But if they will have me, then I will absolutely join the Peace Corps. I can't wait to join, and my ultimate dream would be to join for several "stints" so to speak.

One big problem with me joining now is that while I may have the qualifications on paper, I do not have the qualifications in experience. I don't want to be posted to a community and not be able to serve them the best I can. I want the real experience so that I can give the people what they need and actually make a difference. I don't want to get to my site and realize that I might know the technicalities of the work, but ultimately, I don't know how to do it and have to spend 1/2 my time getting help and researching stuff. I want to go into my site with experience and the ability to give them everything I can offer, and I want to be able to offer more than written qualifications. 

That said, a big part in my decision to decline was that I want more practical experience to provide to my future site. That is exactly what I am going to do. I am really interested in TEFL. The next 4 months I am going to get a job--preferably something related to teaching so I am in the atmosphere, but since I don't have the teaching degree, I'll probably have to settle for something else. Now, how do I remedy getting experience with a bland job? I have already contacted organizations in my community such as The Literacy Center and Boys & Girls Club. The first would be volunteer tutoring adults in reading to raise their literacy level. The second group is volunteer tutoring/helping students with their homework or areas in school they may need help with. I think that's definitely some good experience for the Peace Corps. Furthermore, I've recently accepted a position to Teach English in China for a year. I can easily extend that contract if I want. All of those provide great experience for myself and the Peace Corps. Also, may I say, Amelie, there goes your idea that I actually don't like culture and adventure?

I respect the Peace Corps, its employees, and its volunteers. I think it is an amazing organization, and I can't wait to join it. Right now I'm hoping to be able to join in early 2010. I'm thinking about EE/CA, Africa, and Asia as my preferable regions. To me it doesn't matter if I'm living in a nice apartment with all the amenities in EE, or if I'm living in a mud hut or crude brick house under a mosquito net in Africa eating the snot-sauce, or living in a yurt in Mongolia eating mutton while bundled up in the negative degree weather.  All of those places and lifestyles are the Peace Corps, and I am fully willing to welcome and adapt to any of those. However, right now, the PC was something I had to decline, it was a painful decision and still hurts me that I had to do it. 

But I can't wait to join, and to do so when I'm ready and feel very prepared. I know it will be a lot harder for me to be nominated and invited next time around, but I'm up for the challenge because I love what the Peace Corps does and know that I want to do it, and by then, I will feel better about what I can give to my site. I can't wait for a future with the Peace Corps.

If You Didn't Know...btw....

Many of you know that I had a couple loops (nothing too bad tho) before I got my invitation, and to El Salvador on September 14th. What many of you may not know, and to my shock, as well as my family and friend's shock, and all my PC acquaintances, I declined the invitation.

On the surface the assignment seemed absolutely wonderful--perfect. But I won't lie that something felt wrong or out of place. So I declined. I didn't want to accept such a serious commitment when I was so unsure. I still can't put my finger on what felt wrong, but something did, and I've learned to trust my gut instinct.

I asked to "withdraw" my application for the time being, and that I wanted to reapply later, and I was asked to write a personal statement about my reasoning to not accept. Supposedly I have a year to "reactivate" my application, if I wait longer than that, then I will have to reapply, start from scratch.

However, I almost feel like I'm "not allowed" to reactivate it so close to when I declined an invitation and withdrew--that it'd be fishy, but I'll tell you what, I desperately want to reactivate it and have them look at me for Eastern Europe, Africa, or Asia. Desperately. But I feel like I have to wait, show them I've done something else, and thought about it, and then reapply. She wasn't happy I declined and did state it would be a lot harder for me to reapply because of this.

Its sorta a touchy subject for me still, which is why I haven't brought it up before. But I realized I needed to ask and start looking for an answer. Since I'm my sister's maid of honor, I now won't be able to leave until after June 20th 2009 (because of the no-traveling rules at beginning of PC service)--which sucks. I withdrew on August 8th, so I have til next Aug to reactivate if I understand everything correctly.

I guess basically I'm asking if anyone has any insight on this--after you decline an invitation, what's the appropriate way of going about re-activating your application later? When should I if I want to leave July-later? What am I not thinking of? I know this is sorta the "taboo" topic sorta like ETing.....but it became a reality for me. Something wasn't right, even tho I couldn't identify it, and I just couldn't commit to that particular program unfortunately :-/